An Open Letter to the RNC

Dear Republican National Committee:

I read with interest today the many headlines announcing that your constituency had paid for more than $130,000 worth of clothes for Sarah Palin and her family from high end stores such as Neiman Marcus, Saks Fifth Avenue, and Barney's New York. Many of the articles focused on the issue that, should Sarah Palin keep the clothes, or should she use them for personal outings and appearances, they would count as income and be taxable by the IRS. In response to the news, you announced that the clothing would eventually be given to charity.

I would like to offer my services to you as a charity that would willingly accept such donations. Should you agree to donate Sarah Palin's clothes to me, which will otherwise be scrutinized for illegality, I will gladly, immediately, and with my best efforts make myself a charitable organization ready to receive your donation.

1) I would be able to appreciate the quality of Sarah Palin's outfits better than other charitable recipients. Who else noticed subtle sheen of the black silk shantung suit she wore at the Vice Presidential debates? (set off with the Swarovski crystal flag pin - a nice touch!) What about the the round-collar suits, the three-quarter sleeves, the bold but conservative colors? You strove to dress her in a way that would confer experience, legitimacy, and also femininity. You avoided Hillary's tangerine pantsuits and Condi's dominatrix boots, and found a "look" that, I'll admit, rivals Jackie O. and Carla Bruni meeting the Queen. This was not just a shopping spree; it was a transformation. You want to give away these clothes to someone who understands this; these clothes are a part of history.

2) I am a poor/I will put them to good use. I am currently a law student, which means that I am living off of loans, but I am also expected (as soon as I get a my first job) to have a wardrobe with a polished, professional look. I can't get away with Michelle Obama's H&M dresses; I need suits, pencil skirts, and double-breasted mini-trenches. Moreover, in the current economic downturn, it is unlikely that I will get a large signing bonus in order to properly prepare me and my closet for embarking on my career.

3) Sarah Palin's clothes can be tailored to fit me. I do not know what size Ms. Palin wears, but a recent NY Times article said that she wore a beehive hairdo because she is "short." I too am short. Everything else can be taken in. I will cover all costs of tailoring personally.

4) Your donation would be a sign of the Republican Party's willingness to support struggling young women entering the workforce. Moreover, you could point to the fact that I am a lifelong Democrat to show that the Republican Party never plays favorites, and is committed to fairness, equality, and rewarding merit rather than blind party loyalty and backhanded political tactics.

I am happy to name this charity as would best suit your needs. I would like to point out that my maiden name is Hispanic, and thus incorporating this into the charity name would also have the benefit of looking like your party supports minorities, whether you do or not.

I look forward to your prompt response.

Most Sincerely,


MEELS