Looking at this month's (April) Vogue makes me wonder why I don't just give it all up and emulate Drew Barrymore (cover, pgs. 308-23) and local Berkeley celebrity Alice Waters (pgs. 374-77). I mean, can't I form my own production company, make fabulous kick-ass girl movies starring my best friends Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu? Can't I include in my list of dreams writing a short story and making documentaries? Oh, and not to mention fulfill every girl's fantasy by starring in that feminist fairy-tale remake Ever After -- the themes of which are beautifully captured in the Vogue photospread where Drew models gorgeous foofy silk organza gowns (all in shades of pink) in sumptuous fairy-tale tableau shots inspired by Beauty and the Beast (obviously the Cocteau version...)? (Er, not that I ever saw Ever After, because it was waaaay past my princess days ... *cough cough*...!)
Or as for Alice Waters -- can't I single-handedly inaugurate a new national food trend with my four star restaurant, support local farmers and organic produce, pen numerous amazing cookbooks and even publish a children's book (eat your heart out, Madonna!)? Maybe while I'm at it, I can begin to renovate the public school cafeteria system and encourage children to eat good food? In the meantime, I can attend parties and rub shoulders with Arnold and somehow manage to speak with Bill Clinton.
I mean, hell, I managed to make pork chops last night!*
I think Vogue is instilling in the public reader (i.e. me) a real sense of inadequacy. I mean, I get the highbrow ironic allusions in the literary articles. I recognize Cindy Sherman in the Marc Jacobs ad (!). I care about organic produce and Tuscan villas, and I admire the sophistication and design of couture. And yet, I will never, ever, EVER be able to attain even the smallest ounce of any other kind of participation except vicarious in this strange world of Hamptons parties, Hermes scarves, and Chanel. All I can do is occasionally splurge at the makeup counters and buy fake LV and Prada handbags from Senegalese men in Italy.
It only makes it worse that Matt has apparently both attended parties in the Hamptons and danced with Paris Hilton. (for about 8 seconds.)
This is all brought on because it's my Spring Break and and my goal is to read a book a day. (Voicing this to Matt, after hearing me rant about Drew and Alice, he says "maybe that's why you don't have any life experience.") At least the books are about my medieval giants, sex, monsters, marginalia, idol worship, and stuff like that.
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*actually, they were pretty good, and involved a sweet onion and dry vermouth cream sauce.
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